You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
