I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
