Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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