I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
