I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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