Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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