You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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