She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
