So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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