Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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