Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
