worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize