Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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