I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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