i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
