hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
