hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
