he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
