I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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