what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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