also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
