Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize