You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
