after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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