you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
