dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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