it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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