ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
