okay pat passed out under dana's car
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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