dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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