Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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