some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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