Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
