i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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