let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think my mom watched the whole time
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
