I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
