Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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