you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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