we made out on top of his cat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
