Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
