we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
