what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
