out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
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Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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