i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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