farters have to be the big spoon...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
