I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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