I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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