what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
ok first of all what the fuck
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
