i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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