She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
