I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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