nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I need moral support for this bender
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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