In America we eat man semen.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
