I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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