Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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