I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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