Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
