i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
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Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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