Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
