would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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