i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
