I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
