Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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