Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
