We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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