Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize