I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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